Grandparents

I've been thinking of Grandpa, who passed away last week. Emily's grandparents died within about a month of each other also, and I think they probably had a pretty similar marriage. We just had our 11th wedding anniversary, so I've been thinking about what makes marriages tick and how people try to grow together (and as individuals) over a lifetime. I've been very grateful for the way family have kept us in the loop, and shared stories with us. I enjoyed hearing that Grandpa was working on his tomato plants the day he died. I'd heard a quote something like this, and just searched for it and it's an apocryphal Luther saying: "If I knew that tomorrow was the end of the world, I would plant an apple tree today." We don't have so much control over our end, but I really admire the way Grandpa and Grandma has such full lives right up until their last days. A book I'd shared with my dad talks about "dying well" as a practice that Christians should seek. Obviously there are limits on this, but one way we prepare is through our family. I was really impressed with how my Dad and Nancy navigated the last week of Grandma's life and then looked out for Grandpa during the funeral and afterwards. We are sad we weren't able to get back in time. I feel like with kids we're a slow moving boat. Changing directions brings us to a full stop and we just can't transition as quickly as we used to be able to. I think the trip to the retreat location just about did us all in, so we knew we couldn't get back in time. I hope we're nimbler and lighter on our feet in the years ahead, but for now it's a struggle to get to B from A. I think Grandpa probably would have understood. I admire him for a lot of the transitions he made in life. It was fun several years back to see his old town in Pennsylvania, where he grew up swimming in rivers and playing in the streets. To move from that to war, marriage, and the big city in just months must have been really challenging. I admire also a lot of the things he tried in life. I'm glad he could cook, and enjoyed travel after retirement, and developed such a close network of friends. I'm sad I can't be back for the funeral, but am grateful that I got to know my grandfather over several decades. I'm looking forward to seeing the home where they lived together for so long and to catch up family.

Dancing!

This is the coffee house where we rested post-monkey park. It was nice to take a rest, but then the babies were a bit of a disaster, knocking over several glasses of water and generally making life difficult. Pretty exciting!

Monkeys!

Ocean

Retreat!

Pictures: (1) Eva singing and (2) being backpacked; (3) Samuel with ice cream, (4) Eli clapping, and (5) Eva napping. The first five days on retreat island have been pretty good. Tuesday was arrival (this was actually pretty terrible--kids refused to nap, emily lost purse, etc.). Then Wednesday and Thursday were meeting intensive and Friday was a day trip. The day trip was a little strange in that the "half day" option went 7am to 5pm and the full day option went until 9 at night or so. We did the half day option and got to see lots of fun things. We started with a park with lots of monkeys. It was fun for us, but Linda thought we were essentially taking our kids through a pit of filth and monkey droppings (technically maybe correct). After that our group split up and had a day in a touristy city. We walked around and sweated profusely (aided by the challenge of navigating a double stroller up and down bumpy sidewalks). We found some nice places for coffee and lunch and also went through some traditional markets and bought little things. Sam has been having a blast and the babies also seem to be enjoying themselves. We each have one kid in our bed, which seems to be the trick for getting a decent night's sleep. Sam loves the beach. It's hard to overstate how much he enjoys it. He spent about four hours there today, and got his first ever sunburn of the year (not too bad, but Emily got worse). He likes to play in ankle-deep waves that splash up on the sand. We don't actually go into the water, but just being near the sand is a lot of fun. This morning when I went down with him we also saw three little see animals, including a small blueish crab, what appeared to be a sea snail, and a clam. I poked my finger on the crab, but it was a fun memorable morning. The meetings are a mix. I feel like denom is really in rapid transition. It's hard to see where things will be. I believe we are set for the next three years, but I do really want to work on connecting to congregations and planning for some self-sufficiency, if possible. I feel grateful we've gotten to work on our language, teaching, and administration skills. I do think the leadership of the group we work with is solid and it's been really nice to have the chance to get to know them better over the course of this week. This is not an ideal travel age, but I think the face time has been a huge help in developing models for our work, in figuring out possibilities for future projects, and in learning how things have worked in the past. I'm having some issues with uploading images, but I'll try to put up several batches soon. These should include: (1) outing pictures, (2) monkey pictures, (3) Sam at the beach, and (4) life at the hotel.

Mother's Day

It was a long, but not especially easy Mother's Day. Eva woke early, church was a little iffy, and we had a funny experience in the park where a middle-aged woman, probably mentally ill, kind of attached herself to us and kept trying to engage us in conversation. Sam was kind of cranky this evening, and we're a little distracted with thinking through what we need for our trip this week. On the upside, we are feeling very grateful for the moms. We're each down to just one grandparent now, and I am missing Grandma. However, we all talked to our families today, my brother, and Aunt Ginny. It's nice to have family that keep in close contact with us. David told me he recorded the service for Grandma, so I'm glad that I'll get to hear the pieces by the pastor, Aunt Nancy, and my dad. Tuesday we are off to the retreat. I'm hoping to have our tickets home figured out soon, and hopefully they'll be ~June 20 to mid-February. I feel like there's too much to do before we get there, but at least we're making progress.

Grandma

I wrote this last week, but am just posting it now... This last week as Grandma has been in hospice, I've been thinking about her. Along with my other grandparents' home and some aunts and uncles, their home has been one of the constant places to which I have returned throughout my life. I remember crawling in the cupboards, reading some of their classic books (Swiss Family Robinson?), watching TV shows, setting off fire crackers, feeding the birds, Grandpa catching bees in the pedals of a flower, and so many other things. Their house has often been our point of departure or place of return. I remember driving around their block with grandma on my driver's permit (probably not a great idea in retrospect). I remember Crackers sitting on Emily's head as we ate one of the breakfasts that Grandpa cooked. I think I've gotten to their house by bus, train, plane, and car. With Sam a few summers ago, I got to know the park near their house. I always love hanging out at their house. Watching the Wheel of Fortune or the Price is Right or a soap opera or movie. Drinking sanka with breakfast. Raiding the refrigerator. Trips to JC Penny or a flea market. As an adult, it's been fun to see the places my grandparents spend their week. I remember going to a Legion meeting, to the Stallion, to their church. Grandma has always been such a great listener. She tuned into what people were saying and was often very good at figuring out what was going on and what was at stake. I'll miss the late night conversations with her and my dad, listening to them talk through everything. I'm feeling sad for my dad, who talks with her daily, and my mom, who has known her for almost sixty years. When Emily's grandparents died, Emily took them on as her grandparents also, and I know she's feeling sad too. Sam could tell I was upset when she went into hospice, and he has been real sweet. It helps me to see her best traits passed on in the family. She is so grounded, so kind, such a good listener. I love you grandma!