Night 4

Last night was rough. Emily was up on and off from 2-4 and then I did 4-5. I think in this period, Eva woke up twice and Eli woke up twice. The thing is, I don't think they're hungry. They mostly go back to sleep quickly. We basically have three choices: (1) Emily cosleeps and feeds intermittently, as we did with Sam, but for two kids this time, (2) we add a hard-and-fast middle of the night feeding, which would be something like 7pm, 10pm, 2am, and 6am; or (3) we try to stretch them to a six to eight hour fit of sleeping. Right now, Emily sleep feeds around 10 and then Eva usually wakes up once or twice briefly and Eli wakes up once and then she feeds them around 5:30 when dawn starts. All things in time...

Night 2

It's the second night and so far things are going well. Eva was up for about a half hour again (maybe a little longer). Tonight we're trying to eliminate the pacifier from the equation. Last night Eva went until 5am-ish and Eli went a little longer. Eli had woken up around 2 last night, so I'm going to see if he pops up again here in another half hour or so.

We still don't know if longer sleep will mean a real difference. If they are eating at 10 and 5 it may mean a major sleep disruption, but still much better than it could have been.

Our nanny today said our kids are pretty good. People often ask her if two is really hard, but she said ours cry less than the last baby she had. Neither of them seem to be doing high-pitch screaming--maybe they're just too tired. Instead, it's as if they wake up and want reassurance and kind of grumble until they fall back asleep.

It's an education we are getting. I guess it's a good thing we are each distinct, but it would be nice if there really were a universal set of rules...

Go to bed, mean babies...

I used to sing a song to Sam, when I'd want him to go to sleep: go to sleep mean baby, go to sleep mean baby, it's time for you to rest... It was very comforting somehow. I think one of the central challenges of parenthood is that you often have to act in a way different than you feel. Thankfully, toddlers (and certainly infants) can't read sarcasm.

One of the challenges we have now is that we face parenting challenges on several fronts. Sam's pretty much down to just using a binky (with a small hole) at nighttime. Potty training has been a bit iffy. Sam's been peeing well for the last several weeks, but has only really gotten the hang of poop over the weekend. It's still a work in progress. We'd started things last summer, but they weren't taking, and we heard that it's best to avoid major changes with the addition of a new sibling(s). Thankfully, Sam is a model big brother, but we are still trying to put him through the hoops on the way out of toddlerdom.

Right now, we're trying for the first time to see what happens during the night if we don't immediately feed the twins. If this goes well, we'll either move to one feeding during the night or to no feedings. Right now, the twins go down around 7 and then Emily feeds them again around 10 before she goes to bed. However, they've continued to feed frequently. Emily isn't always sure how much they've eaten or when they've eaten and is feeling tired.

Below's part of an email detailing how it's going. It's now 2:14 am, and I've only been at this seriously for about an hour. My goal is to make it to 5, but Emily said I can wake her up earlier if that doesn't work:

I'm up late. We're making our first run at sleep training. Eva woke up at 12:30 but then after a little comforting and patting went back to sleep. However, Eli woke up a little before 2 and is kind of bellowing. He's not crying, just letting us know that it would be fine if we'd feed him now.

I think Emily could live with one feeding a night, but it would help to have an idea of what they need and what they're doing now. I think Eva can probably go four or five hours and the same is true for Eli. Once we get a handle on things, maybe Emily could move back in with Sam and I and just do a middle of the night fight. Our hope is to at least stretch things out a little.

I have class tomorrow afternoon, but not until 3:30. I am plunking away on small projects now and hoping that Eli will take a rest in the near future. I think we did well making it to six months (well, a couple of days more).

This is all quite an adventure. Emily's written to several friends in the last few days. I think if we can get some longer blocks at night, it will be a big step forward. Here's hoping...

Day 4 Staycation is done!

Today we went to the small city where a river flows into the ocean. It was a long day, but one that was very fun. We agreed to meet two friends, one of whom works with the church main office here. Sam was excited to ride the train out and may have enjoyed this part best of all. When we got there we met the two friends and took a walk. We passed one of the historic churches and stopped in an art museum (not primarily for the art, but for the breastfeeding room). Sam was kind of a pain during this part. The waterfront has a lot of little vehicles you can ride, games to play, etc. He rejected the playground we took him to because he really wanted to ride one of the cars. He did get into one of the art exhibits, which featured hundreds of toy animals. He enjoyed going around, pointing at them, and saying the names. We went to a local noodle shop for lunch, stopped at McD for coffee and ice cream and then headed home. This does not sound like a long day, but it was impressively busy for us. It always makes me happy when we can include other people, in part just because it gives them a glimpse of our life also. I know our kids bring a lot of joy to others, and we like that also.

Four long days! We're looking forward to preschool for Sam tomorrow and having childcare help. I have a lot of language on Thursday and Friday (eight hours), but tomorrow should be relatively quiet. I'm looking forward to going back to the normal routine.

Day 3

Sam manipulates a model radio telescope
Moon lander
Enjoying the galaxy

Blast off!

Today has so far gone according to plan, although it's 2:00 and no signs of a nap for Sam. We visited the local science/astronomy museum today and Sam had a great time. His favorite parts were the videos where you can push buttons to start them (especially one about the extinction of dinosaurs) or similar exhibits (a radio satellite that rotates). He also really liked the rockets and space shuttles. He got scared several times, probably because it was such a different environment, dimly lit with a lot of big objects (gigantic planets) and strange sounds. He was scared of the planets and of a talking robot. I asked him if he was interested in doing a space shuttle ride they had, and he said he didn't want to.

They also have, astoundingly, IMAX and 3D theaters. I'm not quite sure how we lucked out on having this nearby, but I think it'll be really fun. Emily thinks he's probably too small for the movies, but the museum is close to one of the churches we attend, so we may still give it a try. Luckily, Sam's new enough at this that he entirely missed the gift shop. There's also a good park outside of the museum, although it was indeed rainy today, so we just walked around for a little while.

Tickets aren't too pricey normally, but today for children's day (4/4) admission was free for each parent/kid pair. Next year maybe we'll go and bring a friend. So far the four-day plan is chugging along. Tonight we're going to get pizza and have a friend come over. Tomorrow could be dicey with weather, but we're still hoping to get over to the riverfront. All of this said, the house is slumping towards chaos. Emily was able to bathe the twins this morning, but otherwise it will probably be pretty much a wash. I also had a strange sleep night (late to bed, up early). However, a happy toddler and some smiley twins balances out the challenges.

Day 2

Eva's first outing in a dress; Eli's wearing his cool criminal duds
Sam is very pleased with himself. Every time he slides down, he smiles the whole way and then usually applauds.
He started out on his stomach and then switched to the more conventional system. Even though these slides are awesome, we agreed that Americans parks could probably never have them for legal reasons
Here he is a with a whole pack of kids. A fun day!

A great day, first church then a trip to the park to meet my old college roommate. Everyone did well, although by dinner time we were all exhausted.

Sam loves these stone slides they have here. There's a set of stairs in the middle and then two slides to each side (and same in the other direction, so eight slides total). He just had a blast. I wish I'd counted how many times he went down--it may well have been 150 or more times. I'm surprised he still had so much pep the rest of the night.

The babies are doing great. They're getting bigger. They're both very cute and smiley right now. Taking them to church is still a bit of a challenge. Part of what's hard is that we're always the center of attention. I feel like people are worshiping the babies! I miss just blending in. Anyways, we may just go with it. I told Emily in some ways I almost feel more comfortable visiting new churches, so perhaps we could visit some congregations of friends. The kids don't mind the attention, although Sam's getting a bit more protective of his own space.

It was an interesting theme today. The pastor talked about tombsweeping, which is the holiday to remember the dead (kind of like All Soul's day?). This church is aboriginal, and the pastor talked about how it's not really their holiday, but it's a good time to remember family. A number of members shared about deceased fathers, mothers, or siblings. I was really struck by the value of such a service. I remember my mom did a service around Christmas for those who were grieving, and I think it's a worthwhile addition for those who are missing family members.

Staycation Day 1

We're now in day one of four of our staycation. Monday is "Children's Day" (4/4) and Tuesday is Tombsweeping Day here (when people visit clean the graves of family members). This means we get four days of interrupted togetherness. In order to maintain sanity, we try to get at least one trip out a day and we make sure Sam takes a nap. If this happens, then everyone survives. Going out of town is a bad idea because everyone is traveling so there are huge traffic jams. A great time to catch up on local life.

Today we went to the suburb where our language school is. We greeted the teachers and introduced Eva and Eli to them. Emily received the folk wisdom that because Eva has a long indent below her nose (what is this called?) she will be able to have a lot of children (and she pointed out that Emily has the same thing). Local culture still has a touch of phrenology. I never know to what to make of this. Sam was saying something to himself about a "big head" in local language recently, which I think comes from school (having a big head is generally considered a good thing here). We always get some interesting cultural wisdom.

The plan for the next three days is: tomorrow: church and park with old college roommate and wife; Monday trip to local science museum (weather will probably be bad); Tuesday: trip to waterfront and hopefully visit a friend. I think we can make it until Wednesday. Today I did about five hours of walking, so at least I'm getting some exercise.

Below (above? blogger always surprises me) are pictures of Sam's first visit to a huge sandbox. He had a lot of fun and played happily by himself for almost an hour. Also, Emily holding both kids.

Logistics

Today was a long day. I did five hours of language, which is more than usual. I'm coming along on local language, but, wow, it is a slog. I have a new (25 year old) textbook now, which I like, and I'm about down with my textbook series for bigger language.

Today was a lot of logistics: figuring out the kids' insurance cards, getting them inoculated, and trying to get our car inspected. We get a lot of support here, and yet a lot of this is still hard to figure out. Navigating institutions and systems is what's hardest for us. Things that were fairly easy in the States are harder here. We're fairly confident braving the DMV, a hospital or a federal agency back home, but it's harder when you don't know the rules.

It's also hard here to figure out what's a "big" thing and what's a "little" thing. Car related stuff in the States is usually pretty important (being uninsured is really bad) but here a lot of it is suggested more than required (something like half of college aged moped drivers don't have licenses). These types of things are challenging to figure out. Do we go to the public or private inspection facility? What happens if the car fails the inspection? How do we know what failed? How do we balance this with classes and three kids? Today Emily and our (world's most incredible) nanny got a lot of it figured out, but it was really stressful. It helps that many people here have had the experience of living cross-culturally and dealing with these types of questions, so they can (if they think about) realize what's involved.

One of our cultural challenges is that we never know who is responsible. We have at least three people who oversee us in our home denom, and four or five here, and then a handful of people at our school. A lot of people care for us, but it's rare that we know exactly who to ask for help. We know that we should be responsible for ourselves, but doing things ourselves takes longer and often results in delays.

I'm thinking of this post as a kind of aside, to remember later the challenges of adapting to a culture. In the middle of new babies, new teaching schedules, campus politics, and the rest of it, the things I often find most challenging are these types of logistical hurdles. I don't know if they'll get easier with time, or whether they will stick with us. All things in time...