Through Week #2

It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Stitches the day before Emily left, Eva and Eli out of school for five days because classmates had the flu, and several stretches of solo-care (~6/16 days). This falls during what should be grading and prepping for the next semester. I know this time doesn't last forever, but it can sure feel endless.

The kids are making real strides. They're all very verbal, Sam seems to have his alphabets and basically can count up to 50. They all love to read and enjoy playing with Legos and superheroes and probably watch a little too much tv. They've got about six months here where they'll continue to do school and gymnastics and so on. 

For the lunar new year (it always feel funny to write that) we're visiting another person we work with and doing a kind of traditional lunch. I hope they're ready for us! Weather is holding up so far, which makes a big difference in mood. 

We saw our neighbors yesterday, which was fun. She said when her kids were little she started giving them a set period of quiet every day. I'm thinking it might be a good idea. Perhaps a cooking timer and ten minutes. It would be nice if everybody could have some time looking at a book or playing quietly. Part of what is challenging is that we just have three very energetic, vocal, enthusiastic children. Time will tell.

January

The weather has been back and forth here—cold and damp for several weeks, then beautiful for days, and now cold and raining. At first we thought Sam would be rained out of a fieldtrip, but then he was able to go after all. The trip is to a local nature park. He’s been there before, but I hope it’s a good time for him even with the rain.

Everyone is speaking a little more. Linda reads to the kids some in the mornings which is nice, mostly just working on things like animal names.

Emily flies to the US next Wednesday. Her initial plan is to visit Paul and Joan and Reina for a few days, then go to the conference, and then she’ll have six or seven days at the end. It doesn’t look like she’ll go to her school. Logistics always take a while to figure out.

Sam was tired this morning (we thought he’d gone to sleep last night, but he was till up pretty late—sometimes he waits for one of us to go to bed). This morning he was super grumpy. We’re still working on discipline. We do a mix of time-outs, “talking-to’s” (usually very calm), giving toys time outs, and a counting thing I do. Most of the time, even if two are flipping out, one will quickly calm down to be the good one. They’re pretty good but the three of them really can compete. It’s common for Sam to discover that Eli is playing with a toy that was Samuel’s, but which Samuel hasn’t looked at in forever, and to demand it back. Not sure what to do here? Maybe we should create a sequestered drawer where any off-limits toys for Sam have to go. Still thinking about this.

I don’t have any great plans for this month’s daddy fun weeks. I’ll have two weekends and two holiday days plus assorted evenings. I think it could be fun. I’m going to do local museums as possible, which they enjoy, and am also thinking of doing something like inviting people for the Thursday holiday for a potluck. This is, however, probably overly ambitious. 

Quiet Sunday Afternoon

Today was the quietest Sunday I've had in a while. I went with Sam to the big class at church (basically 4-6 year olds). He had a good time. His teachers praised him for his coloring, which pleased him. He's been a little shying going back, but I think it's good for him. I talked to his teachers the day he restarted and they seem to be giving him extra TLC. It helps that several of the kids in his class go back and forth between the English group and the local language group. I get to just sit outside and chit-chat with parents, which is really wonderful. Today Emily went to the ministry leaders' group (since she does Sunday School for the baby group) and I took our kids home and just hung out. Really, really, really nice Sunday afternoon.

Life has also improved remarkably with the return of Linda and with a visit from YH, a dear friend who has been back for around ten days. Linda's helping us in the mornings and will help take the kids to school when Emily goes back to the States for a conference. She also helps the kids with breakfast and getting clothes on, can read to them time permitting, and has reduced our house work by about 90%. It's a small miracle--actually maybe even a large miracle.

My spring is looking better too. My school still is driving me a bit nuts but I have a reduced course load for the spring and since I don't have church leadership it will be much more balanced. Some other institutions are causing me grief--the coeditors of a journal I work on just resigned--but even here the interim editors will be a lot easier to work with. It's as if someone has lifted a weight off my shoulders. I also feel like I have more time for the kids now. I've been doing Legos with everyone and get to read to them every night. In the mornings I can focus on getting ready for the day but jump in as needed. Big improvements!

We just got the Christmas package from Em's parents in the mail. The kids loved their PJs and we're listening to the cassettes they sent. The peppermint bark is almost gone (delicious!). I've been reading through the book they sent, How Children Succeed, which is pretty interesting. It uses a lot of recent educational research on things like education and economic mobility, the relationship between grades and college completion, the traumas that disadvantaged kids face which usually stay with them throughout their life, the impact of stress on achievement, and on and on. The key theme of the book is character. Recent research has shown that things like "grit" make a big difference for kids in overcoming challenges and sticking with boring or challenging work. One of the mysteries is why specific kids are able to navigate challenges and how we can help them. In general, I think both Emily and I come from families with a lot of strengths and some excellent models for handling difficult situations. It really is difficult to know how to give children the mix of values we want for them: kindness and independence, resiliency and sticktuitiveness, a love of learning and an openness to self-criticism, etc. For us, at least for now, there's also a cultural overlay. What are our kids being encouraged in now? What specific challenges do they have? What type of help or time will be most helpful to them? Anyway, these are definitely things I think about as a parent. One of the things that's been a source of encouragement for us here is that the kids seem to be doing really well and are loved in several different communities. We also enjoy keeping up with family and that helps prevent us from feeling too isolated.

More in a while. I could really get used to relaxed Sunday afternoons!

Legos!

I bought two fairly substantive (= a lot of pieces) lego toys, a lex luthor robot and a wolverine helicopter. Both came with three little figures. The robot was the first assembled. Sam at first said he would never, ever, ever take it apart but then a few minutes later wanted to make changes. After it was in a few big pieces he wanted to put it back together and that's how it is now. 

I delayed on doing the helicopter until today. They also each have a little motorcycle (captain america, cat woman, wolverine). It is hard because Sam's probably the only one who can play with these without taking them apart. I have mixed feelings about the more substantive lego toys. They are really, really cool, and the engineers at lego clearly can do a better job of making a helicopter than, say, I or my five year old can. Still, I also like when they experiement and expect all of the legos to have devolved back to pieces in a few weeks. Eva likes them too and we made an airplane together today. I read somewhere that the bulk of the lego market is boys, and they've even introduced pink girl sets. Not really a fan of that, but also thinking of ways to encourage Eva too. Emily said she didn't play with blocks much when she was little. The red box in the last picture is one from my own childhood. They really are a fun toy. When I get over the diapers, the snot, the early mornings and the late nights, this is a really, really fun age and our kids are having a blast.

Today we took them to gymnastics and they had a really good time. With Sam's group they did the thing where you hang from bars by your knees. I think this is a really good activity for them lately.

I'm still feeling a bit stressed just by all that's happening in our lives, but also excited too. I think if I have course load under control, cut the church responsibilities, and if we have extra help (which now seems likely) it will be a much different spring. Here's hoping!

Christmas 2013

Christmas 2013

This was a fun Christmas, although our first away from home and family for a while. Last year was US, then before that baptism, then twins just born. This year was a pastiche of traditions: several church-y events, our durable Costco tree, school potluck and services, some back-from-home gifts (trasnformable vtech dinosaurs, lego superheroes, and so on), a Christmas Eve dinner at Chili’s and homecooked meals on Christmas (chicken, a slow cook roast, etc.).

This was the first time the twins began to catch on to everything. At first Eli was confused that he could have more than one present, and so baulked at opening a second (he thought he’d have to give away the first toy). After that it was really fun. I helped Sam assemble a robot that Lex Luthor sits in and they now have lots of mini-figures that are superheroes. I also found the little plastic action figures that Eli loves so much and he has quite a collection now (before we had the DC ones, Superman, Batman and so on, and now we've added Marvel: Wolverine, Iron Man and others).

I’m skipping afternoon work to go see Ender’s Game. I read that book earlier and liked it. No one else in the family is old enough, but I’m happy to go myself. This is one of the traditions I always like.

One thing we’re missing this year is the post-Christmas let down. Next week is back to class for me with syllabi for next semester and some writing projects due very soon. Emily’s really on the hook for dissertation and then this conference. Busy!

3 Down

I did my conference in mid-November. It was a real change of pace. I did two papers and was part of a group that meets there, and was able to spend about half a week with my uncle Paul and aunt Joan and also a day and a half with Reina. On the way back, I saw Alan for a couple of days, visiting from the base (just a 90 minute flight away). It was an unexpected opportunity to reconnect with several branches of the family and I'm really grateful for the change in pace.

Academic life is a little tougher. I feel like I've come miles, but that I still have quite a ways to go and it's hard to get much flex from my employer. Anyway, this is just to say that we're always in the middle of discernment, but that the answer may become clearer with time.

What else? The kids are all sick. Sam's better and Eli's pretty much back to normal, but Eva has a plugged up nose and would prefer to just sit on someone all of the time. She's currently lodged herself next to me, with her head under my elbow. She definitely still has a fever. Days like these are rough, they just go on and on. The weekend was my most intense too: wedding, sermon on Sunday, speaking at event Saturday morning with Emily.

It will get better, but not immediately. Next semester I am hoping to just have 2-3 classes. I'll see what happens with it.

That's the news. More to follow.

Mid-November?

I knew this semester would be busy, but it still snuck up on me. This month I'm doing my four classes, prepping the trip to my conference next week, have about 5-6 speaking engagements in December, and then there are projects for my church employer and various small scale meetings.

The kids are all doing quite well. I think they are happy with life. As I write this, Sam is working on a "book." I take printer paper, staple it and then he colors it in. Sometimes I write out words for what he is doing and other times he tries to copy out some words ("Animal Planet," "Transformers"). He did an "encyclopedia" last week. It always surprises me what he will request to see. Last night he wanted to look at a museum book I bought before we left. I've taken the kids to the museum and he really liked it, but it surprised me what he would get into certain things. At the museum he had liked the paintings and bronzes and the like, but they really enjoyed the little jade carvings and some of the pottery (for instance, with a handle made out of an animal). Anyway... it made me happy he enjoyed it.

Sam also has an impressive memory about things I would never imagine. He remembered doing bubbles with Barb and Randy and sometimes remembers specific toys or long forgotten (for me) tv shows. 

Eva asks me to go for walks and talks my ear off. Last night I took her out in the backpack and today she went with me to the library. She has a frown she does that reminds me of my mother and grandmother. I don't think either Emily or I make the expression, so it always surprises me. 

We took them all to gymnastics on Saturday. It's an hour at a little center where there are five or six people working with a dozen kids. It's a little pricey, but they all loved it and I think it would make our Saturdays much more positive. This week I went an got a cup of coffee and read a newspaper for a half hour, and was still able to watch half the lesson. I saw some parents brings laptops or phones. Emily enjoyed watching them too and I think it probably helps them sleep better. We've still been meaning to get back to music, but mostly it's tapes, cds, and singing. Sam still likes baseball, which is good. We need to watch some games on tv so he has a better idea of how it works.

I bought a apple laptop. I got the barebones version, but it's very nice and its main appeal is a really long battery life. The plan is I'll use it for my trip and Emily could use it for hers when she's back in the States as well. She's making really good progress on writing and we're hoping/praying she can finish in the next six or seven weeks. It will be a true sprint, but I think it's feasible. 

That's the news! I'm looking forward to seeing Ginny and Reina and Paul and Joan. It's a short trip, but I'll get to be around people I really enjoy. Emily is also excited Alan will be here. I'll see him for at least  part of his time here. This has the potential to be one of our more memorable thanksgivings (of which there are already many).