2011

Three kids to raise, two languages to learn, several articles to complete, ten years of marriage in May, newsletters to write, sermons to preach, papers to grade, pounds to lose, organization to happen... OK, 2011, here we go!

A Merry Christmas

Christmas is wrapped up for us. In fact, I'm teaching tonight (as I did last Monday). Sam also went to school every day last week and will probably go every day this week. Christmas slotted itself gently into the weekend this year, and seems to have left us rather merrier even if life itself hasn't changed much. We're looking forward to the coming weeks. We actually get our bigger break in February.

Some updates:

-All five stockings were hung from the ceiling with care

-We have a fine Christmas tree

-Sam was most excited about new books--yay librarian kid!

-And he also loved the "dinosaur feet" from his aunt

-In particular, he likes his pop up insect book and his motion sports book

-The babies were looking very cute, and it was nice to have extra arms to hold them

-Sam's now 2 years 9 months and the twins are 8 weeks

-Sam likes to say "Merry Christmas Tree" and can already spot a Santa from a distance

-We've already gotten a couple of packages and more are coming

That's the news! More in a while...

Christmas Abroad

Students visit for an open house

Emily and the twins with a co-worker

Emily pointed out recently to me that this Christmas I am surprisingly upbeat. I think in Christmases past I've often felt burned out or lest than festive. Usually the holidays coincide with final exams, a lot of church work, and extensive travel (probably 30+ hours of driving). Taken together, and paired with the ugliness of shopping and packing, I'm probably not that much fun to be around. I also always struggled with decorating an apartment that we were going to leave as we headed west to relatives. (And as I think about it, tons of food I shouldn't be eating everywhere probably doesn't make me feel great either.)

This year, I'm finding that I'm really enjoy the holidays. Delayed grading (until January), no church work, and zero travel have quickly upped the general happiness quotient. Christmas is also in many ways a children's holiday. It's part of how we teach our culture to our kids, and it's one of the major festivals of the church. So some of the joy is in watching Sam participate in things and in dressing Eva and Eli up in Christmas outfits, buying presents, decorating a tree, etc., etc. Before I found a lot of Christmas obligatory, but now it's more celebratory. Does that make sense? I'm hoping my de-Grinchification carries through New Year's, the New Year after that, and marks a general term in temperament. As challenging as this phase of life is, I'm also finding it brings real rewards after a fair amount of struggle and effort.

I'm also genuinely excited about the worship services and campus activities, and I'm encouraged by the friendly outlook of students on campus. It doesn't hurt that it's in the seventies some days. Hearing the organ on campus and having a library just minutes away are also a plus. We still face many challenges, and I will no doubt return to complaining in the future, but for now I'm enjoying the Christmas season and the mystery it shares with us.

Christmas Party

The dancing man
Sam is a frog (jumping like this is something he's been working on for months)
Sam sitting flat footed, as is pretty common here (most adults can sit like this for a long time)
When the party started, Sam wasn't sure he wanted to stay with his class

We went to Sam's Christmas party at the nursery school last night and it was awesome in that way that only a children's party can be. It's been fun to watch Samuel really enjoy Christmas for the first time. He loves Christmas trees and lights and candy canes and this will probably be the time he gets the hang of unwrapping gifts. It's still magical to him. He can tell something big is happening.

The party was fun. We were a little worried about how Sam would handle it, just because it was during his kind of cranky time (late evening) and the first few minutes he looked bewildered. He wasn't up to lining up with his class at first, and came back to mom. They're really entertaining at this age, becoming kids but still a little confused by new situations. Sam had a great time, although several times he defected back to one of the two of us.

Christmas is definitely different here. The party had a mixed Christmas/costume theme, and there were all sorts of costumes. While Santa was probably in the majority, there was also a pumpkin, caterpillar, pumpkin, dinosaur, and several super heroes. Next year we'll have a costume for Sam. Here Christmas is mostly a big winter party, and usually comes a couple of months before the local New Year. In some ways this makes it all more relaxed and less stressful.

I love nursery care here. I think that the workers are pros--this is what their vocation is and they really love children. I'm also glad Sam is in a local school. His language is really coming along. He doesn't always like answering questions if people want to test him, but he knows and can say a lot and the community he has at school seems likes a healthy one. I think 18 months was about the perfect time language-wise to start. I know it seems a bit young for nursery school, but I think it was probably the more compassionate thing long term, if he can function and relate well to the place that we live. I'm hoping that after three years he'll have a base that will hold up with support during our return.

In terms of general quality of life, we really are doing better. I know we had basically a couple of months of wining, and we still have a rough time if Emily and I are both low on sleep. I think the twins/toddler combo is really a doozy and it will take us some time to recover. I kind of can't believe how all consuming it is. If it weren't for the fact that we lived on campus and had family help, we'd be toast. As it is, if the twins or Sam have a bad night and neither of us sleep well, it takes a while to recover. I'm always envious of people who can get by on five or six hours of sleep.

One of Emily's friends said it took her about six months to accept that she had twins. I feel like we've mostly adjusted to our new reality, but it's meant a big shift in our daily life and how we see ourselves. Nights like last night still remind me of how much easier things were when there were just three of us. At the same time, I'm coming around to this new identity: heading towards late 30's, pretty much settled in job, adjusted to "new" location (which I know about as well as many places I've lived), and parents to three kids. There are still wrinkles. We have a ways to go on language. Emily's degree and the writing I should be doing are both slowing down. Future adjustments will be rougher. Still, I think we're in a good place, considering what we've been through. The future is looking up.

A trip to the park

Last night we did one of our first "all family" trips. We picked Sam up at school and then went to the park. I think it will be okay. Our challenge now is getting three under three in car seats and in the car and into their humongous stroller. The stroller only fits in our trunk if we take off two wheels, and the car seats only fit if we carefully push the door closed at the end. We're at maximum capacity!

At Sam's school, many of the teachers and kids came to see the twins. A teacher joked with Sam about taking one of them home, and he screamed "no! no!" while stomping his feet. He's really shaping up as a good big brother. Afterwards, he helped Emily push the cart, holding onto the front bar and walking alongside. He's just such a great toddler.

Not much else to report. School life is generally good. Teaching is a challenge but is coming along. Living in a community is always a bit of a challenge. On the one hand, I love living near work, but it also means that I'm more aware of regular on-going conflict. This week we've had intermittent internet and a leaky roof, but both seem to be mostly fixed now. I'm not sure I like it when my employer and landlord are the same person. However... people are also very kind, Sam is thriving, and I can leave my door two minutes before class starts. It's also nice to be in a place where Christmas is a little mellower. We still have shopping to finish, but things are not so frantic here.

Pictures are of us in front of the school and of Emily and the kids on the go.

Updates

Babies have now passed their official birthdate and seem to be doing well. A little more about each:

Eli is very cute and is starting to pudge up. His face is already very round. He makes lots of grunting/straining sounds and seems to have some gas issues, but doesn't smell bad (compare with sister below). He is a pretty solid sleeper and a good eater. He has an intense look. He has little piercing eyes. Sam looked a little more curious or skeptical as an infant and Eva seems pretty mellow most of the time.

Eva is a good, if often stinky, kid. She feeds in little bursts and goes to sleep easier. She also has fewer gas issues.

Sam's playing hooky today because he has a light cold or sneezing. I think the grandparents just wanted to bust him out and play with him today. He is loving the attention and has already done basketball, tricycle and other fun things as of noontime.

Our sleeping system now is that Emily's parents give the twins a feeding as I put Sam down. Emily tries to sleep from early evening until middle of the night and I try to sleep from middle of the night to late morning.

Life has been a bit off lately. Our neighbors' house is being renovated, so we had jackhammers going next to us all weekend long. The internet has also been out for several days. We hope to have it back up and going again soon, which will make communication easier.

Last night we saw my old college roommate, Aaron, and his wife Sarah. They're newylweds, so it was fun to hear what they are up to and how things are going. He's here via the government. I don't think we'll see them super-frequently, but it's nice to have some familiar people around who are outside of this immediate community.

That's the news from here!

TMI

Every so often, someone posts something wildly inappropriate on facebook, like a picture of an open wound they have or something their pet regurgitated. This is kind of in that genre.

So, on Tuesday I had a vasectomy. It wraps up the pregnancy experience in some ways, since it cements us at three kids (give or take 00.5 failure factor%). I now round out the three of us who have had our bits and pieces messed with (Emily: pregnancy; Eli: circumcision; me: vasectomy). So far only Eva has survived intact.

I think it’s a good thing this is a once in a lifetime experience. It was more painful than I thought it would be and took longer, and may look worse after the local wears off. I definitely don’t recommend doing it in a foreign language, which makes the whole process a bit confusing (now what are they going to do to me?).

We decided on this for a variety of reasons. We have help now. Emily’s done the pill for longer than most. We’re youngish, and don’t want to have deal with fighting fertility for another decade. The ship sort of sailed on a tubal, a casualty of not great doctor communication and spousal delay. Vasectomy has several benefits: low failure rate, no chemicals, one-time deal, cheap, etc. We have reinforcements now, so it gives us support with recovery and transition. And it’s not something I wanted to think about a lot or read up on much, since pretty much every informational site is more graphic than this post.

To prep me, I was given two gowns, designed for much smaller people, which appropriately covered me front and back, although only to about mid-thigh (I felt like I was wearing a mini-skirt). I also was given a pink hat and blue socks and then wheeled into the room (I’ve immortalized the outfit with my iphone, but never plan to post the picture). The procedure itself, while described as “minor” and “simple,” was still pretty horrible. It began with shaving. Next up was local anaesthesia, which initially was not up to the job. After more poking and jabbing, there was cutting, pulling, twisting, clamping, and, apparently, burning. It took about forty or fifty minutes. It would have been nice if there was something (TV, radio, anything) to distract me from what was going on. Instead, I was fully involved in the whole experience. A positive is that I think I had a good doctor, a urologist at a hospital who has done a lot of these, so hopefully that is helping with recovery.

Eventually I believe I’ll be glad I had it done, but, wow, not a fun experience by any stretch of the imagination. Two days later, I’m doing fine and taught class this morning. I hope there are no follow-ups or after effects. Everything legit I read says it’s a reliable procedure with very low rates of complications, but every time I do a google search I end up with page after page of horror studies about lifelong testicle pain, gangrene, impotence, etc.

So, I hope this was helpful to someone! Be glad I had no pictures to post. If you get a chance to toss a tubal in during a c-section, I highly recommend it. If you go with the V, ask for as much pain relief as they’ll give you.